Eternally
by Artemis Phantomhive
Summary: After Ciel becomes a demon, he becomes depressed. He just can't get over the guilt of forcing Sebastian to be his eternal servant. One-shot. Sebaciel. Rather dark. My first one-shot, so please review, and sorry for the bad summery!


**Authors Note: Hey guys! So, this idea came to me the other day, and it's been niggling in the back of my mind ever since. I am currently working on my other story, Reapers of Souls, as well, but I can multitask, right? This is my first one shot, and my first SebaCiel fic (kyaaaaaaaaaaaah!*nosebleed*) No worries though, as you can see this is rated K+. I don't think I'm ready for anything lemony. The main story is set shortly after season 2. Enjoy, and don't forget to review! I want to know how I did!**

Ciel's eyes, one red, the other magenta with a contract seal, opened to see his butler, Sebastian Michaelis. This was the first thing he noticed. The second thing he noticed was that they were underwater. However, he didn't really have time to process any of this before his trusted butler shoved a hand through the small boy's torso. The Earl's initial shock at this was quickly overpowered by anger and betrayal at his beloved servant. Why would he do this? No, Ciel knew exactly why. Of course Sebastian had already figured it out, so he tried to get rid of his now eternal master.

Ciel remained half conscious as Sebastian dragged him out of the water and unto the boat. As Sebastian placed him on the seat, he opened his eyes and sat up strait. He lifted his shirt to rub the spot where the wound had already healed. He smirked at his butler.

"What a greeting you gave me. You tried to kill me before I awakened as a demon?"

Sebastian's head hung low, and his clothes were worse for wear. "No. I felt I had to check for certain whether you had really awakened as a demon."

"I see. You wanted to grasp the situation accurately." The newly created demon stood up. "You made the right choice as a butler." His eyes glowed pink, and Sebastian looked into his master's eyes with poorly disguised hate.

*******************Kuroshitsuji******************* 

In the months that followed their departure of London, the demonic duo traveled all across Europe, Ciel discovering his new abilities, continuing his studies, and just seeing more of the world. And all the while his butler for forever accompanied him.

But every single day was torture for the young boy. He spent every waking moment having to feel the servant's glares boring into the back of his head, sense the hatred directed at him. What was worse was that Sebastian never said anything, never gave a hint that he despised being there. But Ciel knew. Everything the butler did lacked that former passion. Sebastian now performed his duties as though they were the most tedious, boring task in the world. To him, they probably were. Ciel knew that his turning into a demon had made Sebastian's life a living hell, and though he knew he wasn't directly responsible for his transformation, the guilt ate at him every day. He began to retreat within himself, growing more depressed by the day.

Often he would try to talk himself out of these hated feelings.

'Why do you even care about his happiness, you idiot?' he would rant to himself. 'He is simply a butler; it is of no matter to you. You should be enjoying this new life, basking in this new power. Why do you trouble yourself with what he thinks of you?'

Then Ciel would quickly turn his thoughts to other matters, before the other part of him could respond with anything.

But the truth was, the former earl would rather have had Sebastian devour his soul. It would have been so much simpler, and the butler had deserved it after all that he had gone through. Ciel had declared from the beginning that he would not regret losing his soul.

And so he continued in his downward spiral, each day seeming to be darker than the last. However, unlike his butler, he could not completely hide his feelings. There was a noticeable slump in his shoulders, and he was much quieter. When he would give Sebastian orders (which was much less often), it would be in an almost submissive manner. All of the fire had gone out of him. Ciel was certain that his butler noticed these changes, yet Sebastian did not comment.

"My lord?" Sebastian inquired, as Ciel had yet again zoned out during a lesson.

"Hmm? Ah, Yes?" Ciel was pulled away from his dark thoughts.

Sebastian sighed. "You lost focus again. Please try to pay better attention." He said irritably.

Ciel blushed, embarrassed. "Oh, I-I'm sorry, Sebastian."

"No need to apologize, sir. But this will go by faster if you pay attention." Sebastian replied.

Ciel lowered his head submissively. "Yes, of course."

Sebastian pursed his lips, but said nothing. In the old days he would have scolded his master for being so ingratiating towards a mere servant, but things had changed.

"Well, as I was saying, the Latin translation for the verb 'to hold' is unique in that….."

*******************Kuroshitsuji******************* 

At the end of the day, after Ciel had been put to sleep, the butler went to his small room and shut the door behind him. He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Serving his lord, while interesting at times, was a difficult and demanding job. It had been bearable while he had a soul to look forward to consuming, but now he was supposed to perform his duties with the same conviction, even though he would never get anything in return? Even for one hell of a butler, it was a grueling task. He used to be vaguely amused by the child's pride, arrogance, and unpredictability. That pure, unsoiled soul that retained its goodness, even though it was surrounded by filth and hatred and evil. Sebastian's mouth watered thinking about it. Then it faded away as reality once again sunk in. All that was gone now. What lay before him was but a vast, endless field of monotony.

And to add to all that, Ciel seemed to have lost not only his soul, but his heart. The boy had become compliant, unsure, dazed, and rather boring. It was contemptible.

*******************Kuroshitsuji******************* 

Ciel was in a field. The grass was a hideous brownish-grey color. There were a few trees, if you could call them that. Rotting, knobbled, sparse skeletons of trees were scattered throughout the melancholy landscape. A dark grey fog blanketed the ground. The atmosphere of the place instilled Ciel with a sense of dread. Off in the distance, Ciel began to see a shape traveling through the mist. It became clearer as it moved towards him. The young demon squinted, trying to make it out. However, it seemed that the fog moved with the figure, blocking it from Ciel's sight until it was practically on top of him.

"Wh-Who are you? What do you want from me?" Ciel stammered, frightened.

The mysterious shape stepped out of the mist. "Why, my lord, do you not recognize me?" Sebastian Michaelis asked, wearing that smirk the child had not seen in so long.

"Sebastian?" Ciel said with wide eyes.

Sebastian tilted his head, an amused expression on his angelic face. "Who else would it be? I'm the only one you have left. You burned the bridges with all of your associates. You can't have anyone know you for too long or they'll find out you don't age. Everyone you ever knew will be dead in a few decades." Ciel flinched at these words. Sebastian's smile grew. "I'm all you have."

"Why…..Why do you say these things?" Ciel asked. "Why would you…?"

Sebastian raised his eyebrows in mock confusion. "Well now, I thought you were stronger than that, my lord. It appears I was wrong. Are you too weak for the truth, then? Can you not take it?" he said tauntingly.

"S-Stop…." Ciel covered his ears, clenching his hands on his head. "That's an order…Stop talking."

Sebastian ignored him, continuing. " Although, do you even have me anymore? I mean, the distance grows by the day, it's obvious I hate you. You do know I would kill you if I had the chance, right? Then I would finally be rid of this burden."

Ciel fell to his knees, shaking. "J-Just stop….stop…please…" He croaked.

The butler sneered. "How pathetic. Begging doesn't suit you. Get up." He waited. When Ciel made no move to stand, Sebastian kicked him, connecting with his stomach. The young demon gasped, his hand flying to his abdomen.

"Get up." Sebastian said threateningly.

Ciel got to his feet with the stability of a newborn foal.

Sebastian scoffed. "You're pitiful. I can't believe I ever wanted the soul of a weak child such as you."

A tear escaped from Ciel's single blue orb. "Stop it…."

"And now you're whining like one too."

Ciel raised his head to look at his butler. "I said stop it."

The man smirked "Oh, good. You can make eye contact."

"STOP IT!" The boy screamed. "STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT…."

*******************Kuroshitsuji******************* 

"STOP IT!" Ciel screamed, waking up. He looked down to see that his sheets were tangled around his legs, meaning he had been thrashing in his sleep. He looked to his right and found Sebastian standing there, having just been shoved away.

"My lord, are you alright?" he asked.

Ciel pulled his blankets tighter around him, breathing heavily. "I'm fine. You may leave now, Sebastian." The butler's presence made him uncomfortable, and in addition, Ciel was on the verge of tears.

The butler, instead of leaving, simply smirked and said "My lord, did you have a nightmare? I thought those might have gone away by now."

Ciel glared at the demon. "It's nothing. I do not require any assistance."

Sebastian stepped closer and leaned over the small body. "What was your dream about?"

Ciel had to crane his neck to see his butler's face. "That is none of your business. Get out."

The butler retreated, but did not leave. "You seem rather upset by it. What kind of a butler would I be if I simply left?"

"A good one. Now leave." Ciel didn't want the butler to see him cry, and having Sebastian in front of him was making the dream replay over and over inside his head.

"Haven't I taught you how to get me to do something? Or have you forgotten already?" questioned Sebastian, smirking.

Ciel fixed his gaze on the object of his nightmare. His contract mark glowed purple, while his other eyes glowed red and the pupil turned to a slit. "Get out of this room. That's an order."

Sebastian put a hand to his chest and bowed. "Yes, my lord." Ciel thought he sounded mocking.

The eternal servant walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Ciel waited for as long as he could before he broke down. He bit down on his clenched fist to prevent himself from crying out as tears streaked down his face. He curled into a ball underneath the blankets as dream Sebastian's words bit into him again and again. He lay there, quietly sobbing until sleep overtook him once more.

*******************Kuroshitsuji******************* 

The next morning Sebastian brought tea to his master's room as always. Although human food held no nutrition for the demon fledgling, the master still enjoyed a strong cup of tea. And, as everyone knows, old habits die hard.

"Master, today we have an Earl Grey tea."

Ciel turned over and groaned, but did not move. The butler snatched open the curtains, letting light flood the room. Ciel sat up and narrowed his eyes. Sebastian's silhouette prevented some of the light from entering the room. Pangs of fear from the night before shot through Ciel's small frame.

The butler walked over to the food cart. He artfully poured the dark brown liquid into a cup and handed it to his master. Ciel took it, taking a long drink from the expensive teacup. By the time he had finished his tea, Sebastian was ready with his outfit for the day. Since he had become a demon, Ciel primarily wore black garments. His outfit for today consisted of a plain dark grey shirt, a black tie and matching double-breasted coat. His bottom half was adorned with plain black slacks and boots with a heel, to make the demon seem a bit taller.

Sebastian dressed his young master, was unusually quiet. The butler wondered what was going on; Ciel had been acting odd last night as well. Sebastian remained indifferent however, as he listed off his master's orders for the day.

"Your schedule is almost completely open today; there is only a violin lesson in the afternoon at 3:00. What will you do until then?" He inquired.

Ciel spoke softly, his gaze cast downward. "I will find something to do. You can attend to your duties until then."

His servant placed a hand over his chest and bowed. "Yes, my lord."

After Sebastian left the room, Ciel just sat there for a while, staring at the floor. He couldn't face his butler any longer. He would go mad if he stayed, with these dark thoughts swirling around his brain, driving him crazy. He ran to his bedroom window and flung it open. The small country house they were currently renting was only two stories, not a far jump at all for a demon. Ciel threw himself out the window and hit the ground running, not caring where he went, as long as it was far from here.

*******************Kuroshitsuji******************* 

Ciel ran at demonic speed through forests and fields and hills and valleys. He ran until he could barely run anymore. He ran fleeing from emotions he could not escape.

He eventually came to a rocky cliff. The sky was covered with grey thunderclouds and it had begun to storm. He slowed to a stop a few feet from the edge. He peered over to see cold, black ocean water raging hundreds of feet below. Ciel fell to his knees with a sob, burying his face in his hands. His small shoulders shook with grief. He just wanted it to end.

Someone coughed behind him. Ciel whipped around, revealing his tear streaked face to his demon.

"What are you doing?" Sebastian said, irritated.

Ciel turned away from him. "Go away. Don't- Don't look at me."

The butler sighed before removing his glove and holding up his hand to reveal the contract on the back of his hand. "Why would you try to run away? Surely you know I can always find you with this." He said, referring to the bond that ties together the members of a Faustian contract.

"I thought that you wouldn't bother finding me. Why would you?" Ciel said, standing up, but not turning around.

"What kind of a butler would I be if I didn't?"

"One with common sense." Ciel retorted. "You could have just left and never had any else to do with me. I know that you would have been happier. I would have too."

Ciel turned around having somewhat composed himself. "Don't you see Sebastian? It's been killing me all this time. I got everything I wanted, but you got nothing. And now you hate me for it. The one person I could trust, the one person I cared for….and you absolutely despise me. But I know I deserve that hatred, and so much more. I'm so sorry…..Sebastian."Fresh tears sprung from his eyes. He took a deep breath. "That's why I need to do this. Sebastian…" Ciel's took off his eye patch, and his contract mark glowed. " ….This is an order. You will no longer be my butler. You move on from me and never think of me again. You will be happy. But before that…..you will let me die."

Ciel lifted his arms out to the side and fell backwards. Sebastian's eyes widened as he watched his master fall.

Ciel closed his eyes as he fell. He felt a sense of calm, knowing that Sebastian would be happy. Nothing else really mattered to him.

"**Bocchan!"**

Ciel was painfully snatched back from peace by a sharp tug on his arm. He looked up to see his butler's bare hand intertwined with his own. Everything seemed to stand still. Then Sebastian gave an almighty tug and Ciel was sent flying, crashing into Sebastian's chest and knocking them both to the ground. This put Ciel in the rather awkward position of being on top of Sebastian.

He struggled to get off. "How dare you! You disobeyed a direct order! You were supposed to let me die!"

Sebastian smiled and grabbed Ciel's arms, pulling him closer. "The order does not count if it is not sincere, Bocchan. And I believe in your order you also stated that I was to be happy. That would be impossible if you were dead."

Ciel was shocked. "What are you..?"

Sebastian grabbed his chin. "You were wrong. I didn't get nothing. **I got you, Ciel Phantomhive. **I have you and you have me, Bocchan."

Their lips crashed together in a passionate, tender, loving kiss.

"Eternally."


End file.
